Simulator’s Saga: Midblade II

Intro

Are you looking to watch your video games rather than play them, much like one of those interactive DVDs from the early 2000’s? Do you enjoy slow combat and nonexistent boss fights? Do you like walking simulators? Well, get ready to get those steps in, because that’s all you do in this “game.”  That’s right, everyone. I’m talking about none other than Sinua’s Saga: Hellblade II. This game is just jam-packed with… with… well, fucking nothing. Be a shame if they added gameplay to the fucking movie they created. We will go over gameplay: to include combat and puzzles, the cinematography and audio effects, and what is a game review without the story?

Cinematography & Effects

Despite the lack of substance in this six hour feature film presentation, the cinematography along with the visual and audio effects are comparable to a Hollywood flick. Seriously, this game is quite possibly one of the best looking video games in history. The emotion shown in Senua’s face is displayed prominently by the actress Melina Juergens. The acting, the visuals, the sounds… It’s all so crisp. And it feels immersive. But, it’s all too much. The cutscenes that display the raw emotion of the characters, the phenomenal graphics, and the clear audio overshadow the very small amount of gameplay. I think two-thirds of this game is just cutscenes and narration. Which is an impressive showcase of power for the Xbox Series. Unfortunately, that’s all this game is. A graphical showcase for the Xbox Series consoles. A fucking techdemo.

Gameplay

In this Norse drama disguised as a video game, you do almost nothing except push the left joystick forward. You'll be asking yourself, “is there any gameplay in this long, boring movie?” As you walk forward in the most linear fashion since the NES era, you’ll stumble across puzzles. The vast majority of which require little to no thought to solve, it’s just looking at certain objects while holding “RT” to “focus” in on the area. One puzzle in the game was interesting. You find a buddy with whom you share a torch (and your sword) with, but never a name. For this puzzle, you use a torch to share between the two of you and each light different torches to clear a path for yourself. I found this particular puzzle unique. And while interesting, it doesn’t take away from the fact that 0 of the puzzles require you to rub together two brain cells to get through them. Joe Biden could solve these “Where’s Waldo” ass puzzles.

Now on to what should be the best part of every game; the combat. Which can be summed up in one word; S-L-O-W… I’m talkin’ short bus slow, guys. Each movement Sinua makes is delayed. From the swing of your sword to the duck of your dodge. And I understand that this was probably done purposefully to give the combat a “lifelike” feel to it, but in a video game this makes combat much less fun.

 The fights can also be cheesed like whiz fairly early in the game (An hour, probably less). You get an item that slows down enemies or time or something (I wasn’t paying attention because I was so bored.) And with all enemies except the weird “shadow” thing that attacks you throughout the game and the final boss, you can hit “LT'', mash"X " and"Y ". Repeat for every fight, I didn’t even know you could press “A” to duck sword swings until the end of the game. I literally just tanked hits or held “RB” until I could get a slash in and  used my item thingy to deal with most enemies. Use it on the fire breathers, don’t let them spit fire at you, just hit “LT '' and then mash “X”. The combat itself is what I would describe as “arena style.” You are 1v1 each enemy with like 10 enemies just waiting for their shot at the champ after their buddy gets his throat slit. And while I appreciate that you don’t get ganked by 5 big black dudes wanting to take your hole, the fact that there are only two sword attacks and some random enemies take like 15 hits to merc makes combat extremely unenjoyable.

On to the boss “fights.” The first two major “bosses” you encounter are giants that are a major part of the story. They aren’t fights. You just run from point to point and when you finally make it to the boss… they just fucking die. Seriously, they just curl up and die. 

Story

I’m sure that the story may be fantastic, if you cared enough to pay attention to it. I found the story itself to be a lot like the land it is set in; “Mid”-Gard. The story follows Sinua, who stows away on a slave ship after the first game. Which is where Hellblade II picks up. It is told through a combination of narration and optional wooden posts that you happen upon as you limp your way through the different areas. I myself did not find very many of these wooden posts, but each one has a different symbol. Hold RT to focus in on that symbol, it will glow, and give you some background. In my honest opinion, the way the story was told was not done well for such a linear game. In Dark Souls the lore is told through narration at the beginning of the game, and then through various conversations with random NPCs you find in game. While  I don’t think that this is quite an effective way to tell a whole story, at least in Dark Souls, the lore is compelling enough for me to dig deeper into it after I play the game. However, in Sinua’s Saga: Hellblade II I found myself just wanting to hurry up and get through the game. Story be damned. I legitimately had YouTube on in my background the entire game, because limping through five areas with little actual gameplay is just so goddamned dull. So, if you’re interested in the lore of Sinua’s Saga, then go dig deeper for it. But for me, I just wasn’t interested at all. Of course, the voice acting was really good in this game. Clear, crisp audio. Incredible sound effects… but The game just didn’t have enough in it to grab my attention.

Conclusion 

I can’t recommend enough that you stay away from this shitty game. Six hours of limping, slow combat, and optional story just doesn’t make for a good video game. And I understand that Ninja Theory wanted to make the combat “photorealistic” or feel “simulated.” Well, that’s all this game is. A simulator. From the way you solve puzzles to the way you fight, every movement is slow, and every minute in this game feels like ages. I can’t believe I sat through this game in one sitting. I almost uninstalled it, I was so bored. You spend the majority of the game with the controller out of your hand watching cutscenes. Honestly, they should have just made this into a movie. Don’t waste a day off, money, or space on your console for this “game.”

The Cons

Lack of gameplay

slow, simulated combat

Extremely linear

Is just a tech demo

The Pros

Excellent graphics

Crisp Audio

Phenomenal acting

The Captain’s Rating: 3/10

Lost In Dead Space: A review of the Dead Space Remake

OVERVIEW

This review is from the perspective of a gamer who is new to the “horror” genre of the video game world. I came at this game with skepticism due to my disdain for the “zombie culture” that resides in much of today’s media. However, from the… jump, I was enthralled by this adventure. It tells the story of one Isaac Clarke. A young space engineer who crashes into a stranded ship with two of his coworkers. The U.S.G Ishimura.

This is where much of the game takes place. On a nearly destroyed space vessel. The crew has been turned into zombies and you and two of your coworkers have to figure out how to get off of this godforsaken ship. Your character does all of the work and heavy lifting of course. Can’t have a side character doing main character things, now can we?

I mentioned above that I had a disdain for “zombie culture”, but that isn’t at all what this game is about. Basically the crew of the Ishimura succumbed to the cult-like teachings of unitology and then parasitic lifeforms (that came from the colonies that the ship orbits) began controlling the minds and bodies of those crew members. Your job as the main character is to perform engineering tasks all throughout the ship and get out of dodge. That becomes quite the task as you constantly have to find new parts or fix something sabotaged by one of the game's main antagonists: Challus Mercer. Mercer is consumed by his religion and does everything in his power to keep you from leaving the ship. This character is an excellent antagonist because of how he only appears at the most inopportune times for Isaac, like in chapter five: Lethal Devotion, when Mercer unleashed the Hunter on Isaac.

The Hunter is another main antagonist within the game. From Chapter five on, the Hunter stalks you throughout the ship and appears towards the end of several different chapters. Usually with a horde of weaker Necromorphs. The Hunter appears several times throughout the game because the creature is unkillable. Eventually landing on a planet, your character realizes just how mad he’s gone being in… Dead Space.

GAMEPLAY

The gameplay (for the most part) is solid. The only two issues I found were the running and how inconsistent the combat was. There were times when I could easily stomp out a Necromorph’s skull, and other times when it took 8 or 9 stomps (I counted). The running mechanic wasn’t the worst I had seen in gaming, but it did feel clunky. Other than those two things, the gameplay was excellent. I felt immersed in my battles and the jump scares from random enemies in dark corridors were a nice touch. The controls are simple and effective.

Boss fights were made relatively easy due to these simple controls, however, what made the game challenging is the scarcity of in-game funds (credits). Either credits would drop en masse or ammo. Never both. Whatever credits you received had to go to Med Packs because those were few and far between. The simple mechanics made the game much more fun than I had initially anticipated. It also happens to be a shorter game with only about a 12-hour gameplay length.

Overall, this game gets a solid 8/10. The replay value is high for me due to the short gameplay length, the simple controls, and the fact that it was the most fun I have had with a new-gen game in a long time. I highly recommend at least one playthrough of this game.